Pure Chewing Satisfaction
Other album releases and lyrics by Lard can be seen here.
- War Pimp Renaissance
- I Want To Be A Drug Sniffing Dog
- Generation Execute
- Faith Hope and Treachery
- Feeling Back The Foreskin of Liberty
Yippee Tai-Yai-Yai-Yai Yo! Evil Commie empire's gone Yippee Tai-Yai-Yai-Yai Yay! Now we're the only one Let there be peace on earth What ever gave you that idea Economy depends on guns We'll have an arms race with ourselves March! March! Forward to the caves! General who's never been to war Is like a rapist who's never been laid Like shootin' fish in a barrel Inner child must be fed Deep-fry a quarter million ragheads Into crispy Eagle Snacks Pure chewing satisfaction Pure chewing satisfaction March! March! Ah-Ha-Ha-Ha! (Question ain't, "Who killed JFK?" But, where are they now?...) Who's a-gonna buy our missiles? Who's a-gonna buy our guns? Everyone on the whole damned planet We'll throw in free land mines Starve the Russians 'til a nut takes over Put the Arms Race back on boil As the world's population's exploding Wars for water, not oil Too damn many people already Clutter land we could use for golf Egg 'em on to bloodbaths like Rwanda Help 'em eat each other alive Praise God We bropught the rapture on Hey, wait for me...
I wanna be a drug-sniffing dog So I can snort coke all day long Bite my master when it suits me Get off on diminished capacity I wanna be a customs man Snoop through your stuff cos I can Sneaky-peaky pry through your private lives Stroke your panties jackin' off at lunch Weh-Oh, Weh-Oh-Ho! Sure beats Alpo It's the life It's the stink It's the attitude I wanna be a San Francisco cop So I can speed and run red lights And sure as Rodney was a King We got ways to make you sing We can seize everything Houses, cars, and life savings Keep the loot for ourselves Fake drug charge works every time I wanna join the Christian Coalition So I can molest my children None suspect me cos I've been saved Til my stepdaughter drowns her kids in a lake Weh-Oh!, Weh-Oh-Ho! Spare rod Spoil the child It's the life It's the stink Choose your masks
Spiral down the path Of least resistance Down a chute to a bed of nails That becomes a trampoline Bouncing lost souls From extreme to extreme Emperor Ludwig is with us So is Doctor T Technicolor stairs & spires Fantasia trips and wires 5,000 happy fingers Ready to play our song Vortex recedes All I hear and see Echoes of my face and fears In a chamber of one-way mirrors Voices from the drain Whisper like machines Now that you're in our dimension You'll never leave Ahh... treasure gleams To leash and harvest thee Down, down to Bermuda Triangle Sink, sink 10,000 feet below Time to finally meet the zookeepers We let swallow us whole Moths Light any flame They fly right in Deep in Chinatown In New York City Drop a coin into a cage Chickens dance on a hot plate Hot foot round & round Til the wheel runs down That's you as we view Through our ceiling of glass Kneel... Al Jolson style Please, please Can I get a raise? Crawl, crawl through the steaming jungle Please, please more purple Kool Aid Tabloid beauty corpses point the way We're not in Kansas any more
I went to Blockhead Video To rent a tape of people makin' love Couldn't find no love in here "It's a family store, see here!" Settled for "Faces Of Death" But they'd rented it to some kid I'm tired of the same old gore Kick Butt Cable Network gives me more All day All night Broadcast live Gas Fry Injection Die Bring the pretzels, bring the kids Have a party, have a beer Phil Donahue got his wish Executions on live TV Here's your host, Kozy Kinkwicket! What's your name?... You're 14? And what are you being put to death for today? Is your family here? What was your last meal? Any last words for the fans? Longer you cling to life- More prizes for your friends Gas Fry Yeh Awright What's it gonna be, Old Sparky? More points for the firing squad Grand prize, step inside The Hundred Thousand Dollar Gas Chamber Answer one question: How do we teach, 'Thou Shalt Not Kill'? The gas is rising There goes the bell Five minutes... Six minutes... Ladies and gentlemen, He's swallowed his tongue! Vanna applauds
Disconnected, dysfunctional Soulmates with nobody else Sing a song for the New Ice Age Greed has made us lonely Faith, Hope and Treachery Faith, Hope and Treachery Faith, Hope and Treachery Faith, Hope and Treachery Children of the 80's Values shaped by Reagan greed Don't stick long with anything Going gets tough, change the channel and flee In Out Twist Shout Everyone's scared of everyone else 'Specially who they love the most No kind act goes unpunished Show you care just shows you're weak So take 'em all for what they're worth Otherwise they'll get you first #1 must be preserved Friends aren't for keeps, they're for dessert In Out Twist And Shout Faith, Hope and Treachery Faith, Hope and Treachery Faith, Hope and Treachery Faith, Hope and Treachery Years go by, get sick of games Warmth gets repressed just like hate Reagen children flunk out at love It's always someone else's fault It's always someone else's fault It's always someone else's fault It's always someone else's fault Faith, Hope and Treachery
God's sounded the alarm Dare not push the snooze button Your favourite metalhead and mine Child-molesting freak Used Seven Seals to scare his flock So he could sin Defiled young girls beneath Posters of Megadeth But then... They tried to take his guns They tried to take his guns Coulda grabbed him when he's out jogging Or scamming chicks in bars But oh no They brought S.W.A.T. teams and tanks Waco's a sign One-World Government Peeling back the foreskin of Liberty What do we see? Ain't God fillin' teeth It's Jews and Hillary Communist Chinese Grind up orphan babies To sell in powder form At New Age health food stores They're trying to take our guns They're trying to take our guns They treated Randy Weaver Like a two-bit pot dealer Shot up his Little House on the Prairie At Ruby Ridge S.W.A.T. teams shoot potheads all the time But he was a Nazi, dammit Live Free or Die Live Free or Die That's what I say What's that noise? It's those helicopters again See 'em in the sky, they're always black What does that tell you, huh? U.N. troops wait in salt mines Under Detroit of all places To storm up from the sewers For door-to-door raids To take our guns They're trying to take our guns Feminazis and eco-terrorists I'm not making this up I got my back yard bunker Machine guns and grenades To protect myself from you Trying to take them away Live Free or Die Live Free or Die Live Free or Die Live Free or Die Tear down those highway signs So the U.N. can't find me White Shangri-La of Post Falls, Idaho Will now secede We'll show them We'll show them Damn right it's the End Of Times When Christians win! Live Free or Die Live Free or Die Live Free or Die Live Free or Die
Lotta good that P.H.D. did me Stuck... grocery store security Cigar store Indian Fake badge authority Nothing ever happens here Hark! Camera, aisle 5 Dude with hair sprayed on Pocketing razors Pantyhose... why not? Can opener and creme corn - what?!?! Mangoat Too hairy Must shave And warn others No foam All alone Gorilla hair Must go Creme corn Creme corn Yep Poor Kaw-liga Never got his kiss No one-way mirrors To lurk behind as you undress Aye- He's headed for the back Singing, "The hills are alive... With the sound of music-" Yonder, Lady screams Mangoat In my stall Make him stop He'll shave us all Hair off his back Round the room it flies Inquiring minds Wanna know why Creme Corn Creme Corn Why Mangoat Come out of that bathroom We have you surrounded Mangoat Clean up your hairy mess Give up that frothy chew toy You're under arrest Come out with cloven hooves Above your mossy head Bite one more officer You'll trade that rag for lead Creme Corn Creme Corn Creme Corn Creme Corn Why?
Snake on a dune Sand so moist and cool Crawls up to a ledge To survey the valley below Slither into town In the velvet Elvis night Spiralling remains Of a garden of delights The builders are all gone Their monuments remain Outlasted by what they once controlled How on earth is this explained Sidewind Refine Survive What's left behind Can't burrow a home down here Old asphalt lies below Goodbyes from the dead play on Half-curied video gravestones Cracked patches of neon Flickers as the wind blows What kind of drugs were these creatures on To want so much it ate them whole Aversion to detergent Always naturally clean Sleep all day, crush mice by night More civilized if you ask me Sidewind Refine Survive What's left behind Wake up in the bushes Brush the crust out of my eyes Fluff the dirt out of my hair As the bright sun's beatin' down Time to hit the road Time to find the rain Away from the cage where the light bulbs blaze Hitch a ride to another plain Sidewind Refine Survive What's left behind
Page Last Edited on 2004-10-31 21:57:34 UTC CST (42113)